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Woody Allen (More Info) (Born in 1935) |
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"As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on." |
Category:Humor |
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"Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it." |
Source: Getting Even, 'My Philosophy' |
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Category:Humor |
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"How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?" |
Category:Humor |
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"I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens." |
Source: Without Feathers, 1976 |
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Category:Humor |
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"I asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child." |
Source: Woody Allen: Clown Prince of American Humor |
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Category:Humor |
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"I don't believe in afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear." |
Source: Getting Even |
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Category:Humor |
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"I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying." |
Source: Quoted in "Woody Allen and his Comedy" by Edward Lax |
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Category:Humor |
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"I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me." |
Source: Annie Hall, 1977 |
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Category:Humor |
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"I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown." |
Category:Humor |
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"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever." |
Source: Love and Death, 1975 |
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Category:Humor |
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